Sunday, June 30, 2002
Laur @ 6:13 PM
listening to the rain outside
If I run down the street fast enough, will all my troubles pass me by and be blown away by the wind? My house is at the top of a hill, so I'd have good momentem. I could wear my more sporty shoes, the ones with the fraying shoelaces, to be sure that I was going as fast as I could. And I think it would be a lot less bumpy on the sidewalk, and so there wouldn'r be anything really slowing me down. Unless I stepped on a bug. Because then I would have to stop and mourn the death of another unique creature who skittered across our planet. I would want to give it a proper burial, but I wouldn't know the phone numbers of all its friends. So rather than doing the right thing, I would push the bug into a mound of dirt or a gutter, and get back on track; running away from my problems.
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
Laur @ 6:25 PM
"And if I had an hourglass
I'd save the grains of time I spent with you
That's what I'd do.
But I remember you always said it could be great.
And I knew It could be.
Well there's a way you look at things
That no one needs to know but you.
And you shared it with me.
Like every time the leaves would fall,
You promised me that they'd be back again.
And I believed in you."
--Goo Goo Dolls, 'Lucky Star'
Laur @ 6:21 PM
listening to "Walk On" by U2
Look around, the room is empty;
It's dark and you're tired and scared.
Curled up in a corner, head in your hands,
Wishing for someone who cared.
Wake up now, welcome to the real world;
There's no wizards or fairies to save you.
Stop wishing for something impossible,
Stick to whatever you thought you knew.
Someday, someone will find you,
And you can take comfort in them.
For now you'll be fine, I swear;
So long as you forget about him.
Sunday, June 09, 2002
Laur @ 5:35 PM
listening to "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors
Him: What is it you want?!
Her: All I want is for the right thing to happen at the right time!! For once!! To me!!
Him: ...
Her: And no, there's nothing you can do about it. You made that decision a month ago; when you put her happiness before mine without even realizing it. I don't even know what I expect to happen now. But I know... I don't know.
Him: If you...
Her: Can't you see?! That wouldn't have changed anything!! She's still first. She's still the one who gets what she wants. It would have ended up the same!
Him: ...I have to go.
*phone line goes dead*
Her: Who's the one running now?
Friday, June 07, 2002
Laur @ 10:09 PM
listening to "Invisible Touch" by Genesis
The phone rang, and he quickly grabbed it. "Hello?"
"Hey! How are ya?"
"Mmm, fine." It was amazing how he could make his voice so impartial and yet feel as though he would burst and his happiness would just shatter the walls with it's force.
"Is that all, eh? 'Fine'?"
"That's what I said."
"Hmmm. I'm very disappointed in you, Trowa."
"I'm sorry." And he was. Sort of.
Laur @ 10:05 PM
listening to "Tainted Love" by A New Found Glory
Rain falls hard outside my window, and I can hear the splattering of it on the sidewalk. Splat. Splat. Like a fly being swatted at on the kitchen counter. I lift my head from my pillow to watch. Splat. Splat. If everything were the way it should have been, I would have run outside to twirl around. Me and her. Her with her wings and me with... myself. And we would be surrounded by the splattering of raindroplets. I close my eyes. Splat. Splat. I want to splatter your guts on the sidewalk.
Laur @ 10:00 PM
listens to "Amber" by 311
The truth really hurts when you're listening to really loud System of a Down and you can barely hear the words. You're straining your ears to hear, and then you hear something like... something you don't want to hear at all. Then the music is even louder. It hits you full blast. Both combined.
Monday, June 03, 2002
Laur @ 9:31 PM
listening to "Justice Prevails" by Further Seems Forever
My favorite band, they're coming to town,
And I was sorta hoping that on that day, with me,
You'd hang around.
I mean, you sort of like the band,
I know you can stand them, at least a little,
Enough to stand there and hold my hand.
Or is that asking a little too much?
Laur @ 9:25 PM
listening to "So Impossible" by Dashboard Confessional
So you wrote her another song today.
I really, really like it.
I just wish it was about me.
But I guess we can't always have what we want.
Though it'd be nice to get it just once.
Laur @ 9:20 PM
listening to "Beautiful Disaster" by 311
I can't hear you,
I'm covering my ears.
I hate you because you always promised,
You'd never cause me any tears.
Don't tell me you're sorry,
I don't want to hear it.
Sorry. not listening;
Uh-huh, yeah, I chew spearmint.
Don't show me a picture,
I'm closing my eyes.
I hate to know that in the end,
You're just like all the other guys.
I won't beg you to come back.
I'll forget you, without even having to try.
Now, if you'll please excuse me,
I've got to run to my room and cry.
But you can call me later,
I'll stay up just to hear your voice.
Then you can tell me all about her,
And why you made your choice.
And then when I hang up,
And it's time to go to bed,
I'll put myself to sleep,
By crying over everything you said.
But you won't know.
No, you don't know.
And I'm really fucking glad.
Laur @ 9:13 PM
listening to "Time After Time" by A New Found Glory
Words that were spoken invade my every thought,
Was there a hidden meaning to be found?
Behind all your cynical laughter,
Were you crying without a sound?
But it's too late to wonder such ideas,
I'll have pondered them never.
It brings me to tears to call you a hypocrite,
Because you always said you'd be there forever.
You're gone.
Laur @ 9:05 PM
listening to "Invisible Touch" by Genesis
"Come on, you baka, get up here and dance!" she exclaimed, almost playfully, but mainly serious. The music was too inviting, and so was her smile. He couldn't resist. Almost.
"Oh, come off it; I don't dance."
"Neither do I. Just... twirl around."
"Why don't you just 'twirl around' and I'll watch." He grabbed his camera from the cushion next to him and snapped a picture of her; twirling around, challenging grin on her face. "See? Like that."
"Nope. That's just unacceptable to me." She reached over, grabbed his hand, and pulled him off the couch.
Saturday, June 01, 2002
Laur @ 10:49 PM
listening to "Last Train" by Travis
Her with her pretty eyes and silky hair; neither from my point of view. But with her child-like voice. And her bouncy way of getting around when she's happy. Her way of going nowhere when she's sad. Her singing that reminds of you when you were little and didn't care what you sounded like or if anyone else heard you. Yet such a small voice just the same. Her laughter that's so genuine. Everyone knows about her. Everyone knows about you. But no one's put two and two together. And they're not allowed to know. Her song isn't as good as mine. But what good is that if she's the one you're singing to? My watch is broken. Too bad I can't turn back yours to match mine. Too bad we can't turn back time.
Laur @ 10:43 PM
listening to "Ana Ng" by They Might Be Giants
I ran through the hallways screaming at the top of my lungs. The glass in all the perfect little classroom windows shattered. And all the teachers opened their doors, with all the students craning their necks to see out. No one told me to be quiet. No one told me to stop. If they had, I'm not sure I would have noticed. I kept running and screaming, ignoring their movements and gestures, if any. No one came after me, to make me stop, to calm me down... to help me out. Time was running out; I was approaching the end of the hall. What happens when I get to there?
Laur @ 3:01 PM
listening to "Creep" by Radiohead
If I were a butterfly I'd fly up to the stars. And no one would notice. Would I fit right in? I want to be part of a constellation.
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