Saturday, August 31, 2002
Laur @ 8:56 PM
listening to "Yesterday" by the Beatles
when everything sucks and you think you wanna die
take a step back and look at the finer points in life
it's the best scoop of ice cream you ever goddamn had
who knew things could get so good when you feel so bad?
Friday, August 30, 2002
Laur @ 9:56 PM
listening to "As We Go Along" by the Monkees
Should have shut up when I told myself to,
Should have stayed silent forever.
Did I make things better?
Or did I make things worse?
One tends to have the feeling that they've accidentally caused the world to cave in on them.
Or at least that's how I feel right now.
Such a pointless argument.
I knew I never should have spoken up.
Laur @ 9:20 PM
listening to "Idaho" by The New Amsterdams
It's so cold.
I know I'll be shivering forever.
Or until you put your arms around me, and
Who knows how long that will be.
So you say all those things;
You say that you love me,
You swear that you mean it.
Well, how am I supposed to know?
My skin barely knows the feeling of yours,
And I wonder if you long for me, too.
I'm so restless.
I feel like I have to be moving.
My thoughts can't keep me content,
So I'm putting on this show for you.
But do you even notice?
Mu skin barely knows the feeling of yours,
And I wonder if you long for me, too.
Laur @ 9:14 PM
listening to "Goodbye" by The New Amsterdams
"Because I love you," you say,
But those are only words,
And the ice in your eyes tells another story.
It starts with "Once upon a time,"
But doesn't end with "happily ever after."
And the middle is filled with lies and pretending.
My eyes fill with tears because I believed you.
I believed you.
Right now I'm getting tired,
Exhausted from the endless forever we've spent on this love story.
Just give me the paper and I'll sign where you want;
I'll agree that it's over.
I only wish the pen would run dry,
And we'd go back in time,
And relive forever, for real.
We start with "Once upon a time,"
But don't end with "happily ever after."
'Cause in my mind we don't end,
We're reliving forever, for real.
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Laur @ 9:28 PM
listening to "Liquid" by Jars of Clay
Once upon a time you said you loved me.
I am beginning to think I imagined it.
It was after the day you had your arms around me,
Which is barely on my memory's horizon.
The words have been banished away,
By inquiries of little importance,
And mindless chattering of nothing.
You once said I made you happy,
What pills was I on?
I would give my right hand to live in that past,
In those few weeks,
When the world had gone on vacation
And we were the only ones house-sitting.
Now I count down the seconds to when I hear your voice,
And the phone becomes my only means of you.
My life is that hour,
And now you're calling later 'cause you know I'm not there.
Hold me or hurt me,
Say hello or goodbye,
But please throw me out of this awful in-between.
Laur @ 9:21 PM
listening to "Flood" by Jars of Clay
It seems to me like I'm just another Post-It note inside your locker,
Just another thing to get done.
I'm buried beneath the more important things,
The only thing you've ever in your life procrastinated.
You wrote me in highlighter so you just might forget,
Except that my love letters are posted beside it.
Posted under reminders to study for tests,
Under good points for your writing,
Above only your bus number
(Which you memorized anyway).
If only I knew the combination to your lock.
I would break in and rip myself down.
You would never have to let me cross your mind again,
And I could at least blame that on me.
So next time you open it to get your Geometry homework,
I'll be around the corner watching.
I'll memorize every move,
And learn how to open your locker.
Then when you're conferencing during lunch,
You can bet that I'll be there,
Relieving you of me.
Saturday, August 24, 2002
Laur @ 10:25 PM
listening to "Hate to Say I Told You So" by the Hives
She sees you yet again at the window;
Calm, composed, intensifying stare.
It amazes her that all the world below you
Doesn't know you're there.
Her footsteps, they grow nearer,
But you can't even hear her,
Though you sense that she's somewhere nearby.
A tap on your shoulder, and
She's right behind you.
Is it against your will, now you're eye to eye?
And suddenly her arms, they are around you,
Pulling you in close for
The warmth of a hug.
Your arms seek their way around her, too.
She's holding you and you're holding her:
"I love you," she whispers softly,
And as quickly as it began,
It's over.
Laur @ 2:05 PM
listening to "Wonderwall" by Oasis
The swing had always been your favorite,
With your feet dangling and you flying in the air.
You liked to jump, and I'd catch you,
It was like for a few moments I had the world in my arms.
Never once did I let you fall.
But there was the day that you jumped,
And you jumped too far.
I couldn't see where you were going,
And I fell backwards trying to catch you.
You always said you wanted to touch the sky,
And that day I think you tried too hard.
Laur @ 1:22 PM
listening to various Dashboard Confessional
You never really promised me
That things would quite work out,
But I thought we had an agreement
That they would.
And even if they wouldn't,
We would try to make them.
But you've stopped trying,
And I'm holding onto this contract
That you never signed.
Am I supposed to grasp this rope you've thrown me;
Already frayed and continuing to fall apart?
It's the only thing I can think of to do.
So try not to drop it,
Maybe I can climb it,
Or perhaps you could just slide on down to me.
Friday, August 23, 2002
Laur @ 11:12 PM
listening to "The Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional
Tonight's just like any other night;
I've been waiting and waiting all day
Just to hear your voice
And feel the feeling I feel
When I know you're on the other side of the phone line,
Listening to me.
And like any other night,
My heart is shattered
Like glass in a package that wasn't labeled 'fragile',
Handled by careless hands
Or caressed by thoughtless words;
And I'm closer to tears than I've ever been before.
But like any other night,
I am content just knowing you're there,
Feeling your voice so close to my ear,
And hearing your quiet breathing that makes me smile.
Your harsh words only make me stronger, I'm stronger,
But so weak when I break down and mention I miss you.
Tonight's just like any other night,
I've been waiting and waiting all day,
And can only hope that I'm right
To assume that you actually want to stay.
Saturday, August 17, 2002
Laur @ 10:36 PM
listening to "It's Over" by the Goo Goo Dolls
If you take that goddamn picture,
I'll fucking kill you.
Don't press the button,
You'll be dead before the flash.
A simple photograph is enough.
It's enough to prove I was here.
It's enough to prove you were, too.
It's enough to put two and two together;
Enough to hint, I love you.
Laur @ 10:34 PM
listening to "Just Another Girl" by Pete Yorn
Wake up in the morning,
You're the blurry dream in my head;
The one I try to replay,
From the moment I step out of bed.
Reading in the afternoon,
You're the distraction that won't go away;
The one I always welcome,
Yet you keep me rereading every page.
Walking in the evening,
You're the bounce that's in my step;
The one that leaves me grinning,
Content to watch the sun set.
Falling asleep at night,
You're the thought that keeps me awake;
The one I want to dream about,
But don't know what of it to make.
Wow.
Laur @ 2:51 PM
listening to "The Things You Said" by Depeche Mode
Didn't you ever look under the clouds?
I was there waiting.
Sitting on the green, green grass,
Looking around,
Anticipating.
I guess today's another cloudy day.
Didn't you ever look under the clouds?
I was there thinking.
Whistling with the soft, soft breeze,
Glancing about,
Blinking.
I guess today's another cloudy day.
Didn't you ever look under the clouds?
I was there grinning.
Dancing under the tall, tall trees,
Eyes wide open,
Spinning.
I guess today's another cloudy day.
Didn't you ever look under the clouds?
I was there waiting.
Sitting on the green, green grass,
Looking around,
Anticipating.
I guess today's another cloudy day.
Laur @ 2:21 AM
listening to various Chumbawamba songs
In her world, it's always raining.
The raindrops are sweet and refreshing,
In seconds you'll be confessing,
Just how much you care.
But before that you're spinning,
You're holding her hands and twirling around,
She can see that you're bound,
To say something rare.
And you're jumping in puddles,
While you can't help but grinning,
Though your head is swimming,
Would you even dare?
You're sitting on the pavement,
She's gazing at you,
And you haven't a clue,
How to word your stare.
Put her hand to your heart,
Under the raindrops refreshing,
Hear yourself confessing,
Just how much you care.
Saturday, August 10, 2002
Laur @ 5:56 PM
listening to "Bullet Proof" by the Goo Goo Dolls
Turn off the lights.
Close the door.
Everyone's gone.
Yet you and I remain.
Darkness defines the silence.
A lantern lit in the window,
It suddenly goes out.
And I wonder what that says about us.
Like a match blown out by the wind,
Are we going to disappear, evaporate,
Into the thin night air?
Never to be seen again?
So long as I'm with you, it doesn't really matter.
Laur @ 5:53 PM
listening to "Roll to Me" by Del Amitri
You've been staying up pretty late lately,
Burning a candle in your room.
I don't know what you do in there,
But I like to think I do.
You're pouring over a notebook,
Dipping in our secrets of the past.
You're creating mental pictures,
Though you know you can't make them last.
Or you're typing up a storm,
Building stories to explain the reasons why.
You're threading words into sentences,
Recounting the years that have gone by.
You're listening to music,
Letting the lyrics describe how you feel.
If you saw me outside your window,
Would you believe I'm real?
I never said "I love you" enough,
Even at the end.
I'll miss you when you're moving on,
My strangest friend.
Thursday, August 08, 2002
Laur @ 2:42 PM
listening to nothing
"When we fall, we fall hard,"
Do you know what you're saying?
You're so busy with cursing,
Have you noticed I'm praying?
What would it take,
To open your eyes?
Get outside with a rake,
Jump in the piles of skies.
"When we fall, we fall hard."
But what if we're flying?
Laur @ 2:37 PM
listening to "This is Getting Over You" by Alkaline Trio
I can't even remember the last time I was this tired.
It must've been bad,
But I bet this is worse.
So I sure hope you're glad,
Now that you've left me this curse.
Once this summer's over,
The only thing I'll know,
Is the lack of being sober,
And your blurred reflection in the window.
So take all your Polaroids,
And get the hell out.
You'll remember the noise,
I'll remember your mouth.
I can't even remember the last time I was this sloshed.
It must've been shitty,
But I bet this is shittier.
My vision is gritty,
And roadkill looked prettier.
Once this summer's done,
The only thing I'll remember,
Is the too-bright sun,
And how I wished for December.
So pack all your knick-knacks,
And go the fuck away.
You'll remember the wisecracks,
I'll remember today.
Sunday, August 04, 2002
Laur @ 3:40 PM
listening to "All Eyes On Me" by the Goo Goo Dolls
I wish I knew just how it felt
To have your arm around me.
I want to have that comfort on my shoulders,
And maybe lay my head on yours.
I want to know your protective embrace,
Your arms and their warmth.
I want to fall asleep beside you under a blanket of stars
And know that nothing can harm me in my sleep.
I want to touch your arm when you're scared,
I want you to hold me when I cry.
I want you to show me that you care,
And when you say you want this, too,
I want to know for sure it isn't a complete lie.
Laur @ 3:37 PM
listening to "Naked" by the Goo Goo Dolls
If I'm staring longingly out a window today,
Will I be in your arms tomorrow?
If my salty tears are enough to make you stay,
Won't you kiss me to tame the sorrow?
'Cause, you see, the other day you touched my hand.
You know your intentions are so hard to understand.
So can you really blame me?
I'm falling head over heels;
Flat on my face.
Never felt how this feels,
Thoughts out of place.
So can you really blame me?
I think I love you...
If I'm laughing in tune to your wisecracks,
Will you tuck me in tonight?
If my living room is your greatest source to relax,
Will you promise everything's alright?
'Cause, you see, the other day you touched my hand.
You know your intentions are so hard to understand.
So can you really blame me?
I'm falling head over heels;
Flat on my face.
Never felt how this feels,
Thoughts out of place.
So can you really blame me?
I think I love you...
You're the reason I feel this way.
It can't change through what you say.
Even though I've cursed it day after day.
'Cause, you see, the other day you touched my hand.
You know your intentions are so hard to understand.
So can you really blame me?
I'm falling head over heels;
Flat on my face.
Never felt how this feels,
Thoughts out of place.
So can you really blame me?
I think I love you...
Friday, August 02, 2002
Laur @ 10:27 PM
listening to "Northern Song" by the Beatles
How can one stay so quietly reserved?
Don't you want to shout all over the place?
I know you're just dying to be heard,
I can see your feelings on your face.
You're not the only one, you know.
We all have our systems of defense.
Yours is just harder to overthrow,
Considering you make no sense.
A million people watch you,
They talk about you every day.
I wonder if their words are true,
Since they contradict what you say.
Don't bother setting the record straight,
I'd like to believe what I try.
Though I wonder what you'd state,
I think it's time to say good bye.
Though we all know that's never going to happen.
Thursday, August 01, 2002
Laur @ 10:07 PM
listening to "Ticket to Ride" by the Beatles
I think one way to get to know a person is to present them with a highlighter and a book, and tell them to highlight what they deem important.
Laur @ 10:03 PM
listening to "I Need You" by the Beatles
Do you honestly think that it will be okay?
I see what you mean,
But only in my dreams,
So excuse me for not believing what you say.
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