Tuesday, October 29, 2002
Laur @ 7:06 PM
listening to "Sour Girl" by Stone Temple Pilots
If this is a test, I know I'm about to fail.
Give me another chance,
Wait, don't.
I don't deserve them.
It doesn't matter anyway,
Because if i keep saying that,
I can convince myself.
What would I do
Were I Queen of the World?
Nothing, because I wouldn't want
To pressure you into anything you didn't wanna do.
When the mood strikes,
When the boot fits,
When there's a crying girl in the corner who does nothing ever but
Sits.
My homework takes too long
Even when I don't do it.
I'd like to see you now.
I'd like to see you smell you
Save you.
Save me.
Because if this is a test, I know I'm about to fail.
Laur @ 5:38 PM
listening to “When” by Shania Twain
I paint all my pictures
Late at night
So that when I look up from my pallet on the driveway,
I can see the stars.
The breeze plays with my hair
Just like you,
And when it’s really late I sometimes think
That I can smell your smell.
Blame it on the hour,
Blame it on the ant-bite hurt;
Blame it on my imagination,
Or the fact that I’m wearing your shirt;
But that are moments where it does seem
That I’m fully awake, not in a dream,
And yet I can feel you right there.
Right there beside me,
Your fingers in place of the wind,
Your scent rightfully invading my nostrils
Because you are so close and our shoulders
Are touching.
The paintings I call mine
Don’t really belong to me.
When I paint them, you’re there,
So don’t seem so surprised when I present them to you
The next morning,
Bouncing from the outside drizzle
And excitedly say, see?
Laur @ 5:37 PM
listening to nothing
Lucky penny on the ground.
Dull copper,
Smudged dirt,
One cent.
I pocket it and take on life.
Monday, October 28, 2002
Laur @ 9:38 PM
listening to "When" by Shania Twain
Don't tell me I'm fragile.
What ever happened to taking the English teacher's advice
And using show-don't-tell?
If you know so well that my heart's so easy to break
Then why don't you start to take
Notice of what you're doing?
Put away your hammer and nails
Before this shield of mine fails
Miserably and I'm crying again.
It looks like you're failing that class, though.
Thursday, October 17, 2002
Laur @ 9:18 PM
listening to "Freakish" by Saves the Day
If I gave you even half the notes and letters I've written you I'm sure you'd be tired of me by now.
It's just, I put my thoughts into words and you're all that's on my mind.
But it's your fault.
Like when you brought me close and kissed me on the cheek,
My head was spinning and the results are winning me over;
I'll be delirious for a week.
I don't even know how I manage to somehow write this and put it into words.
Though, my papers are filled with onomatopoetic phrases,
It's hard to understand but try if you can because
I'd love for you to be the one it amazes.
I wonder if you were a writer, would you write as much about me?
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Laur @ 9:48 PM
listening to nothing
If we lived somewhere else, fall would be made officially here by the leaves that would shower down from the trees. And the leaves would be brilliant shades of crosses between yellow, orange, red, and brown. Like crunchy raindrops that make piles rather than puddles, the leaves would fall. They would fall in flurries brought on by the wind, periodic rainstorms unbroadcasted by the newscaster meteorologists. Me, I would be outside whenever I could. I would be wandering around with my eyes to the trees -such paintings brought to life- waiting for the moment when a breeze would shuffle through and cause the leaves to rain down. And when that moment came, I would be twirling, twirling around like an autumn ballerina, celebrating the departure of summer and being crowned by crumbly jewels of yellow, orange, red, and brown. The princess autumn ballerina, I would be.
Would you be my prince?
Sunday, October 13, 2002
Laur @ 5:29 PM
listening to "The Closest Thing" by The Juliana Theory
Fall is approaching,
As today it seemed to blow summer away.
Everyone loves this weather,
I think it's safe to say.
At least the two of us would be satisfied,
Were it like this outside every day.
So let the clouds stay dark,
A grey that's so cozy.
We'll lay in the park,
Cheeks getting rosy.
I'll snuggle up to you,
So safe at your side.
You'll hold me, too,
Being warm inside.
There's time off from school,
I'd love to spend it with you together.
I'm glad you brought it up,
Your ideas tend to be so clever.
I'll finish my homework today,
So tomorrow we can enjoy the weather.
So let the clouds stay dark,
A grey that's so cozy.
We'll lay in the park,
Cheeks getting rosy.
I'll snuggle up to you,
So safe at your side.
You'll hold me, too,
Being warm inside.
I hope you bring your camera to capture these moments
Created by you and me.
A photograph is not what a person feels, but rather,
What people see.
But we can put them both together and remember
A day we wished would have lasted forever.
So let the clouds stay dark,
A grey that's so cozy.
We'll lay in the park,
Cheeks getting rosy.
I'll snuggle up to you,
So safe at your side.
You'll hold me, too,
Being warm inside.
Of course, I'm just planning ahead.
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Laur @ 7:44 PM
listening to "Objection (Tango)" by Shakira
I write it.
I tear it into a million pieces,
Walk over to the trashcan,
And throw it away.
Your eyes are one me,
But not what I wrote.
I penned all my secrets,
But you try to decipher them
Just be looking me over
And letting your mind wander.
I sit back down.
You take away your glance
And pay attention to
What the teacher is saying.
Maybe you're just staring
Out of the corner
Of your eye.
That's what I'm doing.
I see you move.
You're adjusting your position
In your chair to
Make yourself more comfortable.
God forbid you withstand
Any discomfort.
Your eyes are back on me
And I smile with recognition.
You look away.
I look down at more paper.
The pen is in my hand,
Uncapped and waiting
To be used.
I want to write something
About you and
About me,
But I can't figure what to say.
There's so much I feel,
But putting it into words
Seems an impossible task
For someone as unskilled
As myself.
You are still watching the teacher
As she says things
And makes absurd gestures
With her hands in the air.
I don't even see you blink.
The paper tempts me
And so I jot down a few words.
It's an awkward beginning
And I cross them out
With the pen,
So determined to make
The words disappear
That as I'm scratching the paper,
The pen goes right through.
I sigh and recap it.
What's the use?
You shift slightly.
Your chin is resting
In your hand
Which is propped up
At the elbow
On the bar of your desk.
I can't tell for sure
But it seems that perhaps
Your eyes are peeking out
At me.
What an idea,
That you'd deem me worthy
Enough to look at
Rather than the teacher
Who is supposed to be grading you
And paving the way
For you to go to college
Which determines
The rest of your life.
I sigh.
If only I could look back.
I don't want you to see me,
See how pathetic I am,
Or be able to read my expression
And see what
I am thinking.
The bell rings.
You turn away and
Grab your backpack,
Getting up from your chair.
I slowly put away my things
And wait to see
If you wait for me.
My heart is beating
Oh so fast.
My adrenaline's rushing
Way more than normal.
This is maybe
One of the scariest
Parts of my day.
Laur @ 7:21 PM
listening to "Bookends" by Simon and Garfunkel
It's raining and I
Would share this moment with you
If I could.
And if my French teacher
Was a lot more lenient
I really would.
You'd twirl me
Around and teach me to dance
Better than good.
We'd be all wet and
Not wear giant raincoats
Like we should.
It's just I love the rain
And I love you,
So imagine how perfect it'd be;
If outside you came
To dance in the dew,
And spend some time with me.
Laur @ 7:12 PM
listening to "Wonderwall" by Oasis
She's never been the girl someone could love,
But she thought she was at the time.
When she was in his arms
And no one could change his mind.
But when she took flight for the summer,
She had hands covering her eyes.
Insecure and suspecting as she was,
The outcome wouldn't be a surprise.
I knew I never should have gone.
But I was so sure you could handle temptation...
I guess that I was wrong.
What's she got that I don't have;
Lyrics scrawled on shoes?
I really don't understand.
She lived the summer playing naive,
Praying she wouldn't be right.
The tone of his voice when she came home
Cried her to sleep at night.
I know I never should have gone.
But I was so sure you could ignore desire...
I guess that I was wrong.
What's she got that I don't have;
Eyes that resemble mud?
I really don't understand.
But suddenly, it was over.
Thursday, October 03, 2002
Laur @ 9:29 PM
listening to "As We Go Along" by the Monkees
I love those few precious moments
When we’re sitting across the room
And something nags at me to glance your way.
So I do, and your eyes are focused on me.
Those two reflections of the sky
Could be staring anywhere,
But you’ve chosen to be looking at me.
Laur @ 9:28 PM
listening to "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees
You take long, quick strides,
But I don’t find it hard to keep up.
Breathlessness is already present
From that delirious feeling I seem to get
When I am even only slightly touching you.
Either way, it’s worth it.
Wednesday, October 02, 2002
Laur @ 8:26 PM
listening to "The Best Deceptions" by Dashboard Confessional
I think it's time that we for once are honest.
I think it's time you admitted how you felt,
And I'll give you the real reasons why I am down.
I watch you and I guess I'm pretty sure you're watching me.
Our eyes never meet, and why, I do not know.
I just know that lately I'm not happy with what I see.
My muddy eyes take no disguise and of this I know you are
Aware.
You walk with her when you know I'm watching, how couldn't I be
Scared?
This endless war of jealousy is tearing me apart
And I was already torn up on the floor.
The point is bright as headlights in my eyes
And I'll be blinded by any more.
That's it, I give up, you win, it's over
Because I don't love him and I doubt you love her.
Please just pick me up and hold me forever,
Your touch will cure me, I'm sure.
I thought things were going great, but that just goes to show
That I really know absolutely nothing.
Things seem pretty bad and I have a guess that they're even worse.
Being passive won't get you through this one,
And my smiles need to stop being so fake.
Revenge, they say, is sweet, but this just plain hurts.
My muddy eyes take no disguise and of this I know you are
Aware.
You walk with her when you know I'm watching, how couldn't I be
Scared?
This endless war of jealousy is tearing me apart
And I was already torn up on the floor.
The point is bright as headlights in my eyes
And I'll be blinded by any more.
That's it, I give up, you win, it's over
Because I don't love him and I doubt you love her.
Please just pick me up and hold me forever,
Your touch will cure me, I'm sure.
This endless war of jealousy is tearing me apart
And I was already torn up on the floor.
I'm breaking when I was already broken
And I don't think I can take any more.
Can't you see that you're winning,
You've always had the upper hand.
My attempts to match yours were feeble,
I'm not strong enough to take a stand.
Please just pick me up and hold me forever,
Your touch will cure me, I'm sure.
I'll never touch him again and in return,
You can really love me and not pretend to love her.
Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Laur @ 9:15 PM
Joyous anniversaire
Joyous anniversaire
Joyous anniversaire chere Pass the Hat
Joyous anniversaire
Happy birthday to this strange poetry blog of mine, whose first real post was made this day last year.
Laur @ 9:06 PM
listening to "Fire on Babylon" by Sinead O' Connor
And we walked down the halls
Smiling like we'd have what we have forever
And you playfully shoved me
Your scent washed over me and rubbed onto my shoulder
I inhaled and gently pushed you back
Smiling like I'd be able to sniff that smell forever
You called me bouncy
I guess that's a good thing because I laughed
And then you were looking at me as I glanced at you
Smiling like we'd share those looks forever
When everything's over we'll be wishing for just one more day
Everyday we shared was one more day
And I refuse to take any of them for granted
Laur @ 8:57 PM
listening to "Why Does my Heart Feel so Bad?" by Moby
I'm so tired.
My energy has expired.
Hanging into consciousness by a thin wire,
No longer so admired.
I'd sleep for days.
Living in a haze.
Exempt from the sun's too-bright rays,
Dreaming of praise.
So I think I'll close my eyes,
I'll close my eyes and go to sleep.
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