Friday, November 29, 2002
Laur @ 11:30 AM
listening to "No Rain" by Blind Melon
I'm so drained,
So wasted;
Brain strained,
Reality tasted.
Today doesn't have to be this way.
I had your voice, I know
From the phone against my ear.
How could I let you go,
When I wish you were here?
Today doesn't have to be this way.
Shall I paint
You a picture?
Photograph
The light fixture?
It's gone out
Like my brain.
Though I doubt
I'm insane,
I don't sense
Much there.
Not that
You care.
Today doesn't have to be this way.
If I close my eyes
They can't see.
If I hide my head,
They'll miss me.
When I'm under the bed,
You won't see me.
Today doesn't have to be this way.
A gray cloudless sky
Doesn't question,
Doesn't wonder why.
It doesn't need a brain
To realize it's only purpose
Is to let there be rain.
Today doesn't have to be this way.
Writing poems on paper
So faded,
Words coming from someone
So jaded,
Sending cards for a birthday
Belated,
How did I ever get so
Sedated?
Today doesn't have to be this way, yet
Sorrow filters not into tomorrow.
Thursday, November 28, 2002
Laur @ 6:34 PM
listening to "Let Down" by Radiohead
Just because her eyes are open
Doesn't mean she can see.
You don't have to be legally blind
To be oblivious to reality.
You ask her why and she doesn't know.
She doesn't know.
She never knows.
Has it occured to you,
She never will?
Saturday, November 16, 2002
Laur @ 6:09 PM
listening to nothing
I didn't ask specifically
To be here assigned.
I may not be depressed clinically,
But I feel so fucking inclined
To take a fucking razor
To my fucking thigh.
I know it's just a moment passing
So shut the fuck up and stop asking
What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong.
I won't answer you right now,
I got depressed and I dunno how.
But I know that you need to go away,
Come back again some other day,
When you don't feel like prying,
So I won't have to be lying,
Why don't you just stop trying?!
Laur @ 3:11 PM
listening to "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah MacLachlan
Don't you see what you do to me?
I haven't got the energry-
What is it you want me to be?
All I do is stand right here,
Glasses splotchy from crystal tears,
Waiting for the real me to appear.
I've been waiting long enough for now,
I'd give up if I knew how,
But I promised you and took a vow.
So I'm a slave to this curse of mine,
Shoved in a closet to tend the shrine,
Immortalized scratches into pine.
What is it that keeps me alive,
When I forgot my reasons to survive,
Beyond the cures that can revive?
Quickly now I'll rest my head,
Thinking over what you've said,
And come tomorrow stay in bed.
Laur @ 2:58 PM
listenting to "Bigmouth Strikes Again" by Placebo
How long,
How long, how long, how long,
How much longer till
Everyone wakes up and sees me,
Sees that I'm still
That stupid poser girl they hate me to be?
Walking down an empty street,
Turn the corner and repeat;
My life is something that's just going by-
Fifty years, look back and wonder why...
I never spoke like myself would,
I somehow doubt I even could,
Is there even a person in here?
She laughs at your lame-ass joke,
Don't you love her?
She lent you money to buy a coke,
Don't you love her?
She giggles when you prod and poke,
Don't you love her?
It's raining outside and you don't know why,
She asks for a ride and you comply;
You always want someone to talk to.
Well I'm open for business,
Let me throw on my mask and beg for forgiveness;
To cover up the person I am that never was.
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